Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Where My Trust is REALLY Without Borders

As of October 17th, my college career has changed quite drastically.

I changed my major to nursing.

This may not seem like such a big deal to some; however, to me, it's huge.

Most people who know I've wanted to become a missionary always throw in things like,

"What will you go to college for"
"So are you gonna be a teacher?"
"Like an English teacher?"
"What about a nurse?"
"Are you gonna go to Bible school?"

My answer to all of these has always been no. I've never really wanted to be any of these things in America (a teacher, a nurse, etc.), so getting a degree as one of these has always seemed pointless because if I don't end up serving as a missionary, I didn't want to be a teacher or nurse. So I was a business major. I figured it would give me a background of basic things that could be used in several areas. It would probably be useful if I ever wanted to start a non-profit organization. And I've always thought owning a flower shop would be cool. So, business it was. Until now, that is.

For some crazy reason, that I do not understand in the least bit, other than it being the Lord, I began thinking about nursing school. Just a side note, I've never been interested in the human body. And although I've always made A's in science, I've never been to fond of it or been the best in class. You can even ask my mom- I've never mentioned nursing. So, you can imagine that thinking about the nursing program out of nowhere was pretty strange.

I began seeing billboards and Facebook posts and things all over about nursing. And then those things started including midwifery or labor and delivery. Then, I remembered something that happened while I was in Uganda.

One day on our way to Abaana's Hope, we passed a small building that appeared to contain one room. Someone asked Myron, the missionary we were with, what it was. He told us that it was the center where the women from the surrounding villages went to give birth. And then he told us that the only thing in there was a wooden table that the women gave birth on and that there were not many people who were qualified to birth babies and help women in labor. Of course that broke our hearts. I flippantly thought for a brief moment, "Hey, maybe I could do that!" followed by, "Haha... no. That's crazy. I'm not gonna do that."

A few days later, I was scrolling down my Facebook feed when I saw that Four Corners Ministries (the ministry for Abaana's Hope, whom I partnered with in Uganda) posted an article. About that lack of and need for midwives and birthing professionals. In Uganda. (Here is the link for those interested).

I literally sat down in the middle of my dorm room on my knees in shock.

I began praying, asking God why these things have been on my mind and seemingly everywhere I looked. And I began wondering if He was asking me to do something I'd never considered doing before. And slowly, through prayer- both on my part and trusted mentors- and guidance from individuals like my mom, I began to feel peace, and not just peace, but excitement as well.

And after much prayer and research and thinking, I changed my major.

I may not become a midwife in Uganda. I may not become a midwife at all. But I felt peace in changing my major, and I believe that was the next step God was pointing me towards.

And that brings me to the title of this post. Where My Trust is REALLY Without Borders. I'd be lying if I said I'm not scared and nervous and anxious about this. Honestly, I'm terrified when I think of all the science-y classes I'm going to have to take and that I won't be allowed to make any lower than a C in every class. I really know nothing about anatomy or health or nursing or anything like that. "Oceans" by Hillsong is one of my favorite songs. The first line of the bridge is, "Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You have called me."

Right now, this is where He has called me. And the waters look quite frightening. But I will keep my eyes above the waves and trust that He will lead me.



After all, isn't being in the place where our trust has no boundaries exactly where He wants us?