I May Be Weak

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"My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:26

Right at this moment, you are at one of three places; you're either in the middle of a trial, just getting out of a trial, or about to enter into a trial. Being a follower of Christ does not mean we will never experience hardship or pain. Accepting His grace does not make us exempt from tears or heartbreak. He does not promise that it will be easy and that everything will go perfectly; however, He does promise that in the midst of hardship and in the midst of heartbreak, He is there.

He is there and He will always be there.

I often hear people say, "God won't give you more than you can handle." Although I understand they mean this as encouragement, I'd have to disagree. Katie David wrote in her blog and book, Kisses from Katie, "I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives." That is what I believe.

So when it feels like He has given me more than I can handle, when my world feels like it's turned upside down, when I cry myself to sleep for a week straight, He is only drawing me closer to Him. With each trial, my heart is more dependent on Him, my focus is more aligned on Him, and my desire is changing to be Him and only Him. And through my weakness, His power is revealed. I am knocked down to my knees. Yet from my knees, I feel His embrace all the more. And I am able to worship and to praise and to serve Him even when it feels like I'll never get up again, because:

I may be weak, but

Your Spirit's strong in me.

My flesh may fail, but

My God you never will.

He Will Use Me

Beautiful Feet. It's kind of an oxymoron when you think about it. Beautiful and feet don't typically go together. Feet aren't usually something we find beauty in. They become rough and callused, dirty and smelly, sore and achy. So what could possibly be beautiful about feet?

When I was trying to come up with a name for this blog, I wanted it to have something to do with God's call on my life for foreign missions; however, I also know that a life in foreign missions may or may not be where He ends up taking me, so I knew the name had to somewhat do with missions, but also reflect my life purpose of going wherever He leads and doing whatever He calls me to do.

God brought me to Isaiah 52:7: "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger who brings good news, the goods news of peace and salvation, the good news that the God of Israel reigns!" So again, what makes feet beautiful? More importantly, what makes MY disgusting, smelly feet beautiful? Only God could do that. By taking the unworthy, sinful human I am and using me- my imperfections, my flaws, my mistakes, my life- to bring glory to Him and accomplish His purpose, He makes my feet beautiful. When He uses me to tell others of Him and to proclaim His gospel, He makes my feet beautiful. When He uses me to bring love and compassion to the least of these, He makes my feet beautiful. When He uses me in any way, my feet suddenly become beautiful.

The reason I decided to start a blog is mainly for you, my friends and family, to read about what God is doing in my life and where He is leading me. Many of you know I am going to Uganda after I graduate from high school in 2014. This is where the initial idea to start a blog came from- so that I could share my 2 week experience in Uganda with you; however, as I thought about it, I realized keeping a regular blog to share what He is doing in my life wouldn't be a bad idea. Even if no one is reading it, it will be a great way for me to look back on how He has worked in my life. I'm not some super-genius inspirational writer and I don't always have the words to get my thoughts across effectively. I'm a mess. I'm emotional. I'm confusing. And I don't really know how to do this whole blog thing. But I know something- He can use my mess. He can use my emotions. He can use my confusion. He can use all of my imperfections for His perfect plan. And I know that is exactly what He will do.